Words from the world that i want to share
I told you "I love you," but I wish I could have told you... that I would love you even if I never saw you again, and I would love you just as much if we saw each other every day, because it does not change a thing. You are still you to me, and that is enough. You are everything I need, everything I have always dreamed of, right here and now. I love you whether we are close or far apart no matter the distance, my heart will always be yours. I love you in a way that goes beyond words, and even if I tried to explain it, no one would ever truly understand such a way of loving. I love you in a way that goes beyond my understanding. Everything is far too intense, too big, too exhausting, everything is so powerful that it never stops. I love you somewhere between love, longing, need, and dependence. I love you so much that I can not even clearly name what I am feeling yet. Anyway... whatever it is, it hurts, and what hurts even more is surely knowing that you will never feel this way about me.
"I love you" it means nothing. They are the emptiest words I know. Three words worn down to the bone, used by everyone, for everyone. To reassure. To hold on. To fill a silence or make up for a void. Sometimes even to lie.
So I am not going to tell you "I love you."
I am going to tell you that I respect your spirit. That I find your thoughts erotic. That your ideas help me form my own opinions. That your views drive my decisions. That you bring meaning to my life. And that I know your skin better than some of my memories. That against it, I lose track of time. That touching it is a kind of prayer, it is strange... I know, but it is the word that seems closest to what I feel. Being close to you revives an older memory. Something forgotten. A secret. The only truth, perhaps. An instinct. I will tell you, my love, that I notice your absence before I notice your presence, you have become the natural state of things. And I will tell you that I am afraid, sometimes. Often. And that I love this fear. This fear of grasping the full extent of what I would feel if you were to disappear.
"I love you" does not say all that, I think. "I love you" says nothing at all. And you deserve for us to find the words. So I will keep searching for them. For you, I will always be in search of the unspoken love.