I do not know when you will see this website but if you see it one day know that I hesitated for a long time before sending it to you. I was afraid because I already made one for you in the past and I fear this one might not have any effect on you. Most of all I am scared of your reaction. I am afraid that you might have forgotten me and that you have already moved on with your life. I am scared of being rejected again. I am scared. But if you are receiving this it is because I miss you more than anything in the world.
We are going through a difficult time right now and our relationship actually ended on March 11. We started talking again about two weeks later to try to fix things. Then on April 20 you finally told me that you did not want to be in a relationship with me again. During that time I was so blinded by the hope of getting you back that I did not see you had no interest in returning to me. You are so afraid of potential fights that you chose to stop everything.
I thought a lot about what you said regarding compatibility. I wanted to share my point of view. I might be wrong and I would love to hear what you think but for me compatibility in a relationship is a bit of a myth. I think people often use compatibility as an escape route when things get hard. When people break up and say we were not compatible sometimes it is just a way to avoid admitting that they did not make the necessary efforts or were not ready to forgive. In my eyes we are not born compatible. We become compatible by talking spending time together and choosing to understand each other. To be honest look at us I am in France you are in China. We grew up in completely different environments and cultures. By a standard definition we have almost nothing in common to start with. So if we only relied on compatibility we would not even be talking right now. I think saying two people are compatible because they have no problems hides all the hard work they did to stay together. A relationship does not work because of a magic spark called compatibility it works with a lot of love support and especially a lot of effort and forgiveness. I do not want us to find an excuse if it gets difficult I want us to choose to build that compatibility together step by step which I believe we did great since we started talking again.
That is just how I feel about it but I am curious to know if you see it differently. Choosing a relationship with your partner is choosing to build a future without worrying about the past. Also I was wondering if you could now answer that question I asked you on April 9th Why do you love me?
But I refuse to believe this is the end. 戴隽艺 I know the distance and the communication struggles have been exhausting but I am committed to improving and listening while being patient.
I do not want our story to be a memory. To be honest since April 20 I keep waiting for your return and every day I open WeChat hoping to have a message from you. I cannot move on and I cannot forget you or what we lived together. I want it to be us forever. I will wait for you no matter how long it takes because what we have is worth fighting for. I still believe in us.
I had even found a way to manage our problems before they grew too big. Several times I offered to share it with you and not once did you want to know. The idea was to have a quick check in once a week. Just 10 to 30 minutes to say what we liked and what bothered us. This way problems never get out of hand. It would help us stay lighthearted the rest of the time. The goal is to never let small things grow into big arguments again. For the other 6 days and 23 hours of the week we could just focus on being happy and simple. It would be our little safety net to keep things peaceful. With only 2 rules : No judging and full share of our feelings, no hide.
But if your feelings are gone when you read this and you do not wish to answer me or talk to me anymore I will stop fighting. I will accept my defeat and try to move on. I gave my everything for us so I have no regrets anymore and if it did not work then it is a shame. I know that no matter what i say, if you've already made up your mind about leaving me, theres nothing i can do. And i dont want to keep fighting for someone who doesnt want to fight. Thats not fair. Is our relation not worth your time ? Not worth fighting ? Maybe in another life we could have been happy together and lived the future we both wanted. I truly love you, my dear girlfriend, my sweet baby, 戴戴, 艺.